Lost Together
by DemetriaOwns
Summary: --Rated PG13 for Language on certain Chapters--Story about Landon's life after loss...if you read you'll get more of an understanding of what it's about! **PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**
1. The Meeting

(Disclaimer: I own nothing but Angelica, which is actually really my name. Wasn't really creative in picking names there.)  
  
(A/N: This is only my second fan fiction, my first one was in the Mandy Moore section, which was closed down. If you want to read it you can look it up with the title 'Breathing' or just look up my name. ::WARNING: That fic SUCKS:: Well yah.I hope you like and PLEASE REVIEW!)  
  
[[Chapter 1]]  
  
[[The Meeting]]  
  
She looked so lonely, so what was I to do? I mean, I knew better then to leave her abandoned with no one to talk to. I've learned too much from Jamie to let that happen. Since Jamie's death I've had a consideration for people who are found as outcasts, so when I saw a girl with a raggedy sweater and out-of-style clothes on, I had a sudden impulse to just talk to her. I've been in LA for a while for college at UCLA and I didn't know much people here, so I thought that maybe the first friend I make could at least be someone sitting alone in our school library on a nice day like this. I was returning a book that I borrowed, 'To Kill a Mockingbird', one of Jamie's favorite books, when I saw her sitting there. I slowly approached her and disturbed her deep concentration while she was reading.  
  
"Hey, I'm Landon."  
  
"Umm.hey. Do you want me to move or something?"  
  
"No, of course not, it's just that, I thought that maybe we could talk or something. I'm kind of new around here."  
  
"Oh, OK. This isn't some kind of prank so you could join some kind of frat is it? Because if it is, I'd rather not be your victim, I have other things to do."  
  
"Now why would you think that?"  
  
"It's not like it hasn't happened before."  
  
"Well, I'm sorry about that, but I'm not one of those people. Believe me."  
  
"Then what are you?"  
  
"A guy trying to make a friend, but so far it's not going as planned."  
  
"Alright. I'm sorry. Hi.I'm Angelica."  
  
I couldn't help but smile. I finally got her attention. I just can't believe how hard it was for her to get into conversation with somebody. I mean, she's not that bad of a girl.  
  
"So Landon, new around here eh?"  
  
"Yup, it's kind of new, I came all the way from North Carolina."  
  
"Really? Wow. I don't really notice the new people around here, or maybe they just don't really notice me." I saw her frown a little bit, but a small smile crept on her face.  
  
"Hey, well, I noticed."  
  
"Yah, what's with that anyways? You're not a regular guy Landon. I mean, you seem kind of different from everyone else."  
  
"Well I've had experiences."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"We'll get to that later.I have class. Bye!" Truth was that I didn't have class until another hour. I just didn't know what to say to her. I mean, I'm not sure how she'll react if she knew that I'm a widower of an outcast girl who died of leukemia. I didn't want to hide Jamie from her, but I don't think it's something I could share right now, considering that I just met her. I walked around the campus a bit and thought about Jamie. I just wished she knew that I'm only here, because of her. She made my dreams come true. I loved her so much, and though I could feel her love, it could never be the same. I sat at on a step that led to the building where I had my next class. I was a couple of minutes early so I took out my wallet from my pocket. I opened it and looked at the wedding picture of me and Jamie. The next thing I knew, I was in near tears. I wiped them away and stood up as fast I could. I looked up and suddenly saw somebody in front of me. It was Angelica.  
  
"Was this your class that you needed to go to? I mean, this is my class too. Why'd you leave an hour early?" She stopped questioning me when she saw the tears in my eyes.  
  
"Um.. I'm sorry I left early, I just had to go for a walk to get used to the campus and."  
  
"Hey, it's okay. What's wrong?"  
  
"Do you really want to know?"  
  
"If I didn't, why would I be asking you?"  
  
"Alright. You want to know the truth? I left North Carolina with a ring on my finger." I saw her look down at my left hand where I still had my wedding band.  
  
"You're married?"  
  
"I was. Jamie, my wife, she had leukemia. I found out a couple of months after we started dating, and then that's when I knew that I didn't have much time, and I loved her so much. I just wanted to keep it in my heart, that she was mine, and she will always be mine forever."  
  
"I'm really sorry. I lost my father a couple of years ago, so I guess that's why I'm not what you call 'social.' I haven't even visited his grave yet." Suddenly I knew in my heart what I had to do.  
  
"Umm..Angelica, can you tell the professor I won't be coming to class today, family emergency or something."  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Somewhere where I've been too afraid to go." I was running to my car when someone grabbed my shoulder. I turned around quickly to see Angelica. All I could say was "What are you doing?"  
  
"I've been afraid too much in my life. I don't want to anymore. I see that you don't want to either. I'm coming with you." With that said, I took Angelica in my car and drove her out of California, to North Carolina. 


	2. Stronger Than Before

[[Disclaimer: only Angelica belongs to me!]]  
  
(a/n: Hey guys.hope you liked the last chapter. Well here's a new one! BTW this whole story is probably going to be in Landon's POV, but it might switch off from time to time.)  
  
[[Chapter 2]]  
  
"Where are we going?" Angelica asked me. We were on the rode for about 5 hours and she decided to ask now.  
  
"It's getting late, we should probably have a rest stop and start again next thing in the morning."  
  
"You still didn't answer my question. Landon, I've known you for a little bit less then 7 hours, and I'm going with you, probably to the other side of the country. I just wish I knew where we were going." She had a point. I couldn't keep where we were going a secret, because it might frighten her when we get there.  
  
"North Carolina, we're going to visit the graveyard."  
  
"Landon. I don't think I could go there."  
  
"Angelica, we can't turn back now. You have to be there with me."  
  
"But Landon."  
  
"Please. I know we just met, but you're probably the only person I can take with me." I know I could have just taken Reverend or my mother, but for some reason I wanted her there. The fact that she wanted to come with me made me know that I could trust her, and now I didn't want to go without her.  
  
"Okay."  
  
We couldn't seem to find a hotel so we parked up on a hill and decided to sleep in the car. I saw that Angelica was fast asleep, but I couldn't get my eyes to close. I slowly opened the door and got out of the car. It was as if I was in complete solitude. Not one singly noise. I sat on the ground continuing to think about Jamie. My eyes were closed envisioning her face in front of me, smiling at me once again. When I finally opened my eyes I saw that the sun was about to rise, and I watched it with so much feeling in my heart, because I knew that at that moment, she was with me. Jamie was there, in my heart. When the sun completely rose I ran to the car and turned on the engine, trying not to wake up Angelica. I couldn't wait anymore. I had to go the graveyard. I've always been so scared to do it, because I always thought that I wouldn't be able to handle it. Now I know I could. Finally I heard some movement in the seat next to me, and I glimpsed at Angelica shuffling in her chair trying to figure out where she was.  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"We just entered the North Carolina border. We're almost at Beaufort. You're quite a sleeper. You slept through the whole trip. We've been traveling since morning, and now it's ten at night."  
  
"Wow...I guess I was tired. I haven't slept in the last 2 days."  
  
"Well I guess that explains it. We're almost there so maybe you could get a couple more minutes of sleep."  
  
"No it's okay. Landon, did you say Beaufort?"  
  
"Yes, that's where I lived. Why?"  
  
"We're going to the Beaufort cemetery?"  
  
"That's where we buried Jamie."  
  
"Landon, can't you just drop me off at your mom's house or something??"  
  
"Why, what's wrong?"  
  
"Landon.My father used to live in Beaufort. He's buried at that same cemetery. I can't go there." I stopped the car on the side of the street and looked her straight in the eyes.  
  
"You told me that you didn't want to be scared anymore, so now's your chance. Don't be scared."  
  
"But."  
  
"We're in this together. No matter what okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
We finally arrived at the cemetery, and we walked slowly to the graves we came to see. Angelica went over to her fathers, while I went to Jamie's. I stood in front of it, just looking at it. I couldn't believe how empty this felt. She was here, and I could barely stand it. I began to break out in tears and yelling at the grave.  
  
"Why aren't you here Jamie!? Why? Why'd you take her away God! She was all that mattered to me. She was my everything! Jamie.why aren't you here!" I fell to the ground and the tears continued to fall. Once I got myself together I stared at the tomb stone and began to sing. I always sang to Jamie whenever she felt sick, and I just had to do it for one last time.  
  
"I'm down here.I'm down here.  
  
And you're way up there.  
  
And that doesn't hurt, badly.  
  
But it stings right here.  
  
I can't recall myself, how I went down  
  
Did I get shot? Or shoot myself?  
  
I can't pretend there's nothing there...  
  
You'll be around and I'll be square  
  
Don't be alarmed, if I'm not there.  
  
You'll be around and I'll be square..."  
  
After an hour of sitting there telling her how much I missed her, I went over to find Angelica. I just saw her standing there looking at the stone, barely moving. I suppose she heard me coming, because she began to speak.  
  
"This is him. I've been standing here for an hour and I don't know what to say to him." She turned around and faced me. "Landon, I don't know what I'm doing here. I can't do this."  
  
"You have to. You owe him that much." She turned around slowly and sat down.  
  
"Dad.I miss you. I'm sorry I ran out on you. It was probably already hard after mom ran out. I didn't mean to. I needed to go to LA. I couldn't stay here, it was too hard. College is doing well and I'm semi-happy. I would be happier if you were alive when I said this. Dad I'm sorry.I'm so sorry." With that she began to cry, so I lifted her up as she started to weep in my arms.  
  
"It'll be okay. You did the right thing. Let's go." I began to walk with my arm around her, because she was still crying. Finally we got to the car and I took a deep breath.  
  
"Ready to go back?"  
  
"Yah.Thank you for everything." That day we left North Carolina once again, becoming stronger then we ever were before.  
  
(SONG CREDITS: Switchfoot "Don't Be There" 


	3. No Longer Hiding

(Disclaimer: I own everything but Landon..)  
  
[[a/n: Once again another chapter.can you guys PLEASE review! I only have one, which I'm thankful for by the way.]]  
  
[[Chapter 3]]  
  
[[No Longer Hiding]]  
  
After three days of driving, we finally made it back to California. I didn't get sleep on any of those days, so when I crossed the California border I was exhausted. I dropped Angelica off at her dorm so she could go get some rest, while I went back to my dorm that I shared with my roommate Jacob. I entered the room to see Jacob lifting weights while sitting on his bed.  
  
"Hey Landon! This is like the first time I've seen you since you've moved in. Where have you been?"  
  
"Oh sorry Jake, I forgot to tell you. I went over to North Carolina, I missed like 7 of each of my classes."  
  
"Why'd you do that?"  
  
"I had some business to take care of."  
  
"Like your girlfriend?" Girlfriend? What was he talking about?  
  
"What girlfriend?"  
  
"The one in that picture on the nightstand. No offense man, but you could of done better then that."  
  
"Hey shut up alright!?"  
  
"Sorry man. So I guess it is a girlfriend."  
  
"Actually no, it's a wife." He looked right at me and dropped the weight he was lifting.  
  
"What?? You have a wife? Aren't you like 19?"  
  
"Well, I had a wife. She died of leukemia. When I found out, I asked her to marry me. I just wanted to know that if death do us part, we will still be a part of eachother."  
  
"Dude, couldn't you have told me this sooner?"  
  
"Well I was going to tell you the second time I met you, but I had to go see Jamie's grave one more time. Sorry man."  
  
"Nah it's alright. At least you told me. So, you went all the way to Beaufort alone?"  
  
"Now I didn't say that.."  
  
"Then who did you go with? I know that you barely know anybody here."  
  
"Well I met someone who I decided to take with me, and it ended up, she had to take care of some business in North Carolina too."  
  
"She? Who?"  
  
"Some girl named Angelica. Gosh, I had a 5 day trip with her and I don't even know her last name."  
  
"Wait, brown sweater, funny hair, always at the library?"  
  
"Yup that's her."  
  
"Dude, you got that girl to talk? I thought that she was mute!"  
  
"She just has problems trusting people I guess.."  
  
"Well you must be a miracle worker if you got her to say a word.." Gosh, I never knew she could be so anti-social to other people. I wonder what got her to talk to me. I looked at my watch and saw that it was already 3 PM.  
  
"Hey I got to go to class Jake..I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Abandoning our dorm once again?"  
  
"Sorry dude..See Ya!" I ran to class as fast as I possibly could, because I knew that I couldn't afford to be late. I went into the class and took a seat in the very back. I had to re-take this geometry class in college with Professor Witmore, and I heard that he wasn't the most friendly man in the world.  
  
"Excuse me, you in the back!" I finally figured out that I was the only person in the back so I stood up and tried to walk quickly in to the front. While I was walking I answered him quickly.  
  
"Yes sir?"  
  
"Stop where you are. What's your name?"  
  
"Landon Carter."  
  
"Carter..Carter..hmm..you haven't been in class lately?" I saw him pick up a file and read thoroughly within it. "What made you show today Carter?"  
  
"Oh well I didn't show up the other days because I was in North Carolina. I had some business to do there."  
  
"And what was that business?"  
  
"I'm sorry sir but I would like to keep that to myself."  
  
"Why? Don't be ashamed of business you do, it's likely that everyone else in the class does it once in a while too!"  
  
"I doubt it sir."  
  
"What did you do Carter? I'm going to start demanding you to tell me." I didn't know what to say. I couldn't lie to him, because Jamie taught me that lying results to nothing. I lied to my friends about her all the time, and it hurt her so much. I didn't want to do anything like that again.  
  
"Well sir, I went to visit my wife's grave. It was one thing I was too scared to do before I left North Carolina. I had to go back and just say goodbye and thank you." I saw it in his face that he looked kind of ashamed in asking. Everyone in the class turned around and faced him, whispering to one another.  
  
"Well then class.Let's talk about the theorems of geometry." The embarrassment in his voice let me know that he was sorry. Yet, I was glad he asked me. I finally knew that I could finally share Jamie with other people, and not be so uncomfortable. I don't want to be ashamed of her. I love her with everything I am. That will never change. 


	4. The Dream

[[disclaimer : I own everything but Landon]]  
  
(a/n: Sorry it took so long to update, I'm a freshman in high school which is kind of new, so I had to get used to doing all this work and stuff. Plus I'm in honors..GRR SO HARD!)  
  
[[Chapter 4]]  
  
[[The Dream]]  
  
This place was so familiar. I knew where I was. It was in Beaufort High School, and I was sitting at lunch table seven. This was Jamie's table. I saw her walk into the cafeteria holding her Bible in her hand. The sight of her face made my heart skip a beat, and a smile crept on my face. "Could this be true?" I whispered to myself. I saw her look up at me and smile. She turned away and ran through the halls. "Jamie wait!" I ran after her, and while I was running everything around me started to fade until I was chasing her in complete darkness. I stopped to take a breath, and when I looked up, I saw her stop and walk towards me.  
  
"Landon, you're tired already?"  
  
"Just give me a while to get myself together, I'll get you soon." I smiled, not believing my eyes.  
  
"You have me now. You'll always have me. I love you Landon." She leaned in to kiss me, and I closed my eyes. I felt her getting close, but all I felt was wind blow across my face. I opened my eyes to see a ceiling above me.  
  
"It was a dream." I took deep breaths, and got up from my bed. Suddenly, a voice came from behind me.  
  
"What was a dream?" I jumped back, but then realized it was just Angelica.  
  
"How'd you get in here?"  
  
"I asked someone if they knew which dorm you were in and it so happened that I was talking to your roommate Jacob. Anyways, what was a dream?"  
  
"Nothing, it was just a crazy fantasy dream I had."  
  
"Well..what was it?"  
  
"It was just a dumb dream.."  
  
"Hey..you took me across the country to visit the cemetery, so you could at least share this one with me." I looked up at her and smiled.  
  
"Okay then." I told her the dream and when I reached the end it was just a mere silence.  
  
"Wow. That's a pretty vivid dream. Do you think it means anything?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well people say that dreams usually mean something. Maybe yours has some kind of significance..."  
  
"Never thought of that. Well whatever it was, it was a dream, nothing else. You don't know how much I wished it was reality."  
  
"You really do miss her don't you?"  
  
"With everything I am." I laid back down on my bed and rubbed my eyes with my hands. "I just wished..that for one moment..she'll come back to me. Do you think I'm crazy?"  
  
"I think your inlove, and you miss your wife. Nothing is crazy about that."  
  
"Thanks.." I gave her a hug and we continued to talk for a couple of hours.  
  
"Oh Landon, you have to get ready, we have class in a couple of minutes."  
  
"Oh that's right. Just wait outside and I'll be out in a second."  
  
"Alright then." She was walking away when I called her name.  
  
"Angelica."  
  
"Yah?"  
  
"You've really helped me through all of this. Thank you, you're a great person. Anyone who thinks differently is obviously insane." She smiled and walk towards me.  
  
"The feeling is mutual." I put on a little smirk and she walked out of the room while I got ready for class. 


	5. Why Did You Care?

[[disclaimer: I own every character but Belinda and Landon]]  
  
(a/n: hey people. I need more reviews or I might take out my story, because I really don't have time to write this stuff! COME ON!)  
  
[[Chapter 5]]  
  
[[Why Did You Care?]]  
  
I walked into a coffee house where I was supposed to meet Angelica. I haven't seen her for a couple of days because I had to catch up with all my work, and I thought that a talk with her was what I needed to calm down. I guess I was a little bit early so I sat down at a table and waited patiently for her. I was looking down at my feet when I heard someone coming towards me. I looked up, and I couldn't believe my eyes.  
  
"Belinda? What are you doing here?"  
  
"My parents wanted to take a little vacation, and I decided to come along. They have a beach house here."  
  
"That's right, I was supposed to go with you that one year. Well, what about college? Aren't you going?"  
  
"I took a semester off. I was just a little undecisive of what I wanted to do with my life. I'm just thinking about it. So..how are you doing? It's been a while since Jamie.." I saw her face go blank as her eyes traveled to the floor.  
  
"Hey..I'm alright. I really miss her though. What about you, how are you doing?"  
  
"I'm great. Just trying to get my life back together. You really taught me a lot Landon, so thanks." I was so confused. When have I ever taught her anything about life?  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"You had the guts to stand up to Dean, and walk away. I didn't. I wanted to leave so badly. My grades were going down faster than ever. You gave me the strength to get my life together again. Thank you." I stood up and gave her a hug. As I opened my eyes I saw Angelica standing at the doorway looking at me hug Belinda. She was about to walk away, but I pulled Belinda away from me.  
  
"Sorry Belinda, I have to go. Give me a call if you want to hang out some time later." I hurried up and wrote my number on a napkin and ran out of the coffee shop. Angelica was walking faster than usual, so I began to run to catch up with her. It was raining, but I didn't care. Why was she running away like that?  
  
"Angelica! Angelica!" I finally got close to her and tugged her arm. Rain drops were falling down loudly so we had to practically scream. "What are you doing!? Why are you running away!?"  
  
"I just thought that you might want privacy with your new cute girlfriend over there! I didn't know that I was interrupting your plans!"  
  
"Angelica, that's not the case. Belinda is an ex-girlfriend that I had in North Carolina. I just bumped into her now! And plus, why do you care if I'm hugging another girl!?" I know I sounded really upfront and rude, but I didn't know why she was so angry.  
  
"You know why Landon!? Because for the first time in my life, I was standing in front of a mirror trying to look somewhat decent for you! Why!? Because I think for the first time, I've fallen for someone! You!"  
  
"Angelica..I'm sorry..."  
  
"Save the speech Landon! I got the picture!"  
  
"Wait..you're not going that easily!" She stood still and looked me straight into the eyes. "I'm sorry I can't feel the same way, but you're still one person that can keep me sane! I can't lose you! I heard that you were hard to get through, and you spoke to me! You helped me! Don't throw that away!" I saw her look up at the rain drops falling down, then look straight at me.  
  
"Landon...I don't want to throw that away either! I spoke to you that day, because it looked like you were destroyed! I didn't want another life to be destroyed, because mine already was! Somehow, when I spoke to you, my life became a little bit better, then you took me to the cemetery and you helped me do something I couldn't do my whole life! It would be selfish of me to take all of that away! But Landon, I really did fall for you." I smiled at her and gave her a sarcastic look.  
  
"Well..who wouldn't!? I'm quite an interesting fellow, not bad in the looks, great cheek bones.." She lightly slapped me as I began to run. We were running and laughing through the rain, and we knew that everything would be alright.  
  
*When you get caught in the rain with no where to run  
  
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone  
  
When you keep crying out to be saved but nobody comes  
  
And you feel so far away that you just can't find your way home  
  
You can get there alone  
  
It's ok, won't you say  
  
I can make it through the rain  
  
I can stand up once again on my own and I know that I'm strong enough to mend  
  
And every time I feel afraid  
  
I hold tighter to my faith and I live one more day and I make it through the rain  
  
And if you keep falling down, don't you dare give in  
  
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly and you'll find what you need to prevail  
  
Won't you say  
  
I can make it through the rain  
  
I can stand up once again on my own and I know that I'm strong enough to mend  
  
And every time I feel afraid  
  
I hold tighter to my faith and I live one more day and I make it through the rain  
  
And when the wind blows  
  
And shadows grow close  
  
Don't be afraid  
  
There's nothing you can't face  
  
And should they tell you, you'll never pull through  
  
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say  
  
I can make it through the rain  
  
I can stand up once again on my own and I know that I'm strong enough to mend  
  
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith and I live one more day and I make  
  
it through the rain..*  
  
(song credits: Mariah Carey "Through the Rain" 


	6. Getting To Know Eachother

[[disclaimer: I nothing but Angelica]]  
  
(a/n: HELLO PEOPLE! Another chapter! Hope you like this one! Oh and I'm sorry if you people don't like some of the songs I put on, but I really thing they're nice and you guys should find it!)  
  
[[Chapter 6]]  
  
[[Getting to Know Eachother]]  
  
It was a very long day of classes and work and I needed a break. I put in a CD that was given to me by Jamie before she died. It was by a contemporary rock band called Switchfoot, and I actually really liked them. I put it on a song called 'Home' and it really made me want to be back in North Carolina; back to how it was, back with Jamie.  
  
*It's a long way from Miami to LA  
  
It's a longer way from yesterday, to where I am today  
  
It's a long way from my thoughts to what I say  
  
It's long, long way from paradise to where I am today..  
  
All that's in my head, is in your hands  
  
It's a long way from the moon up to the sun  
  
It's a long road ahead of me, the road that I've begun  
  
Stopped to think of all the time I lost  
  
Start to think of all the bridges that I've burned and must be crossed.  
  
Over, over, over take me over  
  
Cuz I've been poisoned  
  
I've been rained  
  
I've been fooled again  
  
I've seen ashes shine like chrome  
  
Someday I'll see home...  
  
I can see the stars from way down here  
  
But I can't fall asleep behind the wheel  
  
It's a long way from the shadows in my cave  
  
Up to your reality to watch the sunlight taking over..  
  
Cuz I've been poisoned  
  
I've been rained  
  
I've been fooled again  
  
I've seen ashes shine like chrome  
  
Someday I'll see home...*  
  
"Maybe someday I will see home...I'll see my life with Jamie." I laid my head back down on my pillow and looked up at the ceiling. All I kept thinking was 'I want to be with you Jamie..' I really did. I felt as if I didn't want it any other way. I needed to take a walk to clear my mind. I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't care. I turned and saw a bridge and looked as the sun was setting. I quickly ran to it and stood there watching the sun come over me. I closed my eyes and saw her face once again. She was coming so close to me, until everything came into complete darkness. "Jamie.." I whispered softly.  
  
"Landon?" I opened my eyes and realized that it was already night. I looked down and took a deep breath. "Landon, are you okay?" From the voice I knew it was Angelica.  
  
"Uhh..I'm fine. What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was taking a walk, and I always go by here. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Same..taking a walk. I just kind of went where my instincts told me to and it led me here. Beautiful isn't it?"  
  
"Landon, it's nothing but a dark night sky."  
  
"No, earlier their was a sunset. It was really nice."  
  
"I didn't know you liked to watch sunsets and stuff like that. Very masculine!"  
  
"Hey come on now. You know I had a wife. We used to sit in a cemetery and watch the sunset together. We'd even look at Pluto. It comes up just a few minutes before the sun."  
  
"Why would you sit at the cemetery?"  
  
"It was the best place for a good view of the stars. Jamie was an astronomy freak. She even built her own telescope. She wanted to build a bigger one to see a comet named hykataki, but she got too weak, so I built it for her. We put the telescope on her balcony, and she looked as the comet passed by. It was absolutely amazing. That's when I proposed. I know it wasn't a fancy ring, but it was something." I looked down, remembering all of that single moment coming back to me.  
  
"Wow Landon. So that cemetery she's buried at, is that where you guys looked at stars?"  
  
"Yup. I wouldn't have put her anywhere else. That exact spot is where we would sit when we were waiting for the morning sun to arise."  
  
"Don't you ever wish that you could go back, just to live it all again?"  
  
"With every breathing moment I have. How about you? Do you wish that you never left your dad up in North Carolina?"  
  
"Sometimes. Yet, I know this all happened for a reason. I had to get away."  
  
"So what age did you exactly leave? By the way, how old are you anyway?. Also, what's your last name? I've known you for days and I have no idea. It's as if you're a complete mystery to me."  
  
"Finally you asked Landon Carter, age 19." I smiled at the fact that she knew everything about me, and I don't even know the simple details about her. "Well, my full name is Angelica Tanner. I'm 21, and I left North Carolina when I was 16."  
  
"Sixteen? How did you afford to get here in LA? How did you afford to go to school, and even go to UCLA?"  
  
"Well I got a job when I was fourteen working at a local food market over at Beaufort..."  
  
"Wait..If you worked over there, how come I never saw you?"  
  
"Maybe you did, but you never paid attention to it. I mean, when I worked there, you were like 11."  
  
"Where did you work?"  
  
"Over at this place called 'Heaven's Kitchen'."  
  
"Yah, I always went to that place in North Carolina. Too bad you didn't stick around. "  
  
"Well, I didn't expect on working there forever."  
  
"True..well continue with the story."  
  
"Okay. Well while I worked there I didn't spend a dime within those 2 years, because I knew that I really wanted to leave. So I gathered up about 5,000 dollars within those 2 years. I hurried up and ran away from home, and bought a ticket to here. When I got here I still had lots of money left. I stayed at a motel for a while until I found out that I had relatives here in LA. I guess my dad called them and asked them to look for me. When they found me they took me into their home and gave me the decision to leave or stay. I wanted to stay. They paid for my schooling, and I've always been a hard worker, so I ended up getting the second highest grade in our class. With that, I was accepted into UCLA for a full scholarship."  
  
"Wow..that's pretty cool."  
  
"How about you? How did you get into this school?"  
  
"Well I was a very very big slacker. Then Jamie came into my life and I found myself turning around from laziness to the hardest worker. I ended up getting A's in all my classes, and I was accepted to UCLA, but I didn't get a scholarship. My dad actually paid for everything. He's a great cardiologist, so he had a lot of money in his pocket."  
  
"Well that's great, I wish I had a father like that."  
  
"Well actually, my father left me and my mother when we I was young. I didn't start talking to him until I found out that Jamie had leukemia, and I wanted him to help her. At first, I really thought he wouldn't pull through, but then he did. He got her the best home care in the state of North Carolina. When I found out, that was the first time in so many years that I've cried on my dad's shoulder." I leaned my body against the bridge and I looked around me then looked back at Angelica.  
  
"Well Carter, we've lived quite a life. We're really two lost people aren't we?"  
  
"Hey..look at the bright side. At least we're lost together."  
  
"I guess so Landon..I guess so.."  
  
(song credits: Switchfoot "Home") 


	7. I Can't Let Go

[[Disclaimer: I own nothing but Jamie]]  
  
(a/n: sorry that it's taking forever to update! I wish I could do update more but school is getting in the way!!)  
  
[[Chapter 7]]  
  
[[I Can't Let Go]]  
  
I had that dream again. The one of me and Jamie running through the halls of Beaufort High School. I kept taking into consideration what Angelica said about it having a significance. What could it mean? I didn't feel like going to class today so I just layed on my bed listening to a rock mix CD that I've had for a while. I soon fell asleep, and I didn't wake up until Jacob entered the room.  
  
"Landon? Landon!" I heard his voice call me, but I didn't feel like responding. He came next to me and started pushing at my body until I finally spoke.  
  
"What?!" I said groggily.  
  
"Hey Bro. Aren't you supposed to be in class or something?"  
  
"Supposed to..I'm not though."  
  
"Why not? It doesn't seem like you to skip class."  
  
"What are you talking about? I missed to first week of school!"  
  
"Yah, but that was to see your wife's grave, not to stay home like bum." I finally sat up and looked at the sarcastic look on his face.  
  
"I'm just not feeling well." I walked into the bathroom and slammed the door in his face. It was more then obvious that he wasn't pleased with my behavior, but still. I guess the dream was really getting to me. I sat on the sink and got my cell phone that was charging in the outlit. I flipped through the numbers on my phone until I reached the name 'Eric'. I looked at it for a while and pressed the send button. I put up the phone to my ear, than heard a very familiar voice.  
  
"Talk to me!"  
  
"Eric?"  
  
"Landon??" I could tell in his voice that he was very surprised to hear from me.  
  
"What's up man!?"  
  
"Hey dude..I'm going crazy over here at LA. I didn't go to school today."  
  
"Why not man? You know Jamie wouldn't like that." I kept it quiet for a while but I decided that I wanted to tell him about the dream.  
  
"So what do you think it means Landon?"  
  
"I don't know. I've been spending my day trying to figure that out. For some reason I thought you might know. You were always good at that interpreting stuff."  
  
"Yah, but this is about you and your wife. Maybe it's meant for you to find out, not me."  
  
"You're right. I just can't get my mind straight enough to find out what it's about."  
  
"All I can say is that I think you can't let go."  
  
"What is that supposed to mean Eric?"  
  
"I gotta go Landon. Me and Dean are going over to Clay's house. I'll talk to you later dude."  
  
"Alright..bye, and thanks man."  
  
"No prob, call me whenever you need me."  
  
"Of course I will bro.." I hung up the phone and tried to get back to my bed without a talk with Jacob. Of course, that didn't go according to plan.  
  
"Who were you talking to?"  
  
"One of my friends from back home."  
  
"Oh.." He just stood their for a while and looked at me laying on my bed. "Dude, what's your problem?"  
  
"I don't have a problem."  
  
"Yes you do! Do you know that I've been your roommate for about 2 months and I still know nothing about you?! You're always so secretive. I don't get it."  
  
"You'll never understand Jacob! You weren't there! You haven't gone what I went through!"  
  
"Neither has Angelica, but at least you let her into your life!"  
  
"She has been through what I've been through! Her father died in North Carolina! She knows the pain! What do you know!?" I stood up and pushed him close to the door. He went up to my face with complete hatred in his eyes.  
  
"If you talked to me then you might know that my sister died last year of an overdose of steroids. You might know that in ways I could be exactly like you. But you don't know! So don't blame it on me that you never got to know me!" He walked quickly out of the room and slammed the door hard.  
  
All that seemed to come out of my mouth was, "I'm an idiot." I hit myself in the head and realized how ignorant I was to all of this. I didn't know what to do. Once again, I just went back to bed and closed my eyes and thought about me and Eric's conversation. What did he mean when he said that I couldn't let go? What does that have anything to do with the dream? Suddenly it all came to me. I ran after Jamie, well the memory of her. I took all my strength to catch her, because I didn't want to let her go. When I finally caught her she said that I had her, and that I didn't have to go running after her anymore. I can't let go of her, because I don't want to. I guess she wants me to stop chasing after her memory, and go on with my life, because no matter what, she'll still be with me. I guess I've been trying to run after her all this time that I never really concentrated on me. That's why I went to the grave yard. That's why I can't sleep at night. I can't let go. 


	8. Confrontation and Running Away

[[Disclaimer: I own nothing but Angelica and Jacob.]]  
  
(a/n: Hello people! Sorry I didn't get to write a lot, but I just found out that I have pneumonia! Sucks huh? Well I'll try to write as much as possible, I promise.)  
  
[[Chapter 8]]  
  
[[Confrontation and Running Away]]  
  
Jacob wouldn't talk to me for days. I had no idea what to do. I know that I was a complete idiot, and now I had to suffer the consequences. After class I met with Angelica so I could ask her what I should do.  
  
"I just wished I knew what to say to him, but even if I did, he won't listen to one thing I have to say anyways!"  
  
"Gosh Landon, you're really screwed here."  
  
"Thanks for your help Angelica..now I'm going to go find someone useful to talk to now.."  
  
"Come on Landon you know I'm just joking with you. I didn't know you were Mr. Sensitive."  
  
"Well I didn't you were Ms. Joker. Now come on, I need your help."  
  
"The best you could really do now is lock both of you in the dorm room so he has to listen to you."  
  
"How the hell am I supposed to do that? I mean he can unlock the door too.."  
  
"I have a plan..but you owe me so much for this."  
  
"Yah yah..just tell me what we're going to do."  
  
**Later on that Day**  
  
I was sitting in my room hoping that Angelica's plan would work out according to plan. Jacob entered the room not even staring one glance at me.  
  
"Hey Jake.." Their was no response whatsoever. I stood up and stood next to him. "So, how's the day going?" Still silence. He was approaching the door, but he struggled trying to get the door open. Angelica was actually on the other side, and she put a chair under the door knob, so he couldn't pull it open.  
  
"Landon, what's up with the door?"  
  
"I don't know. Is it stuck or something?"  
  
"Stop the bull shit Landon. What's going on?"  
  
"I told you, I don't know."  
  
"Just cut it out dude. I gotta get to class."  
  
"You don't have class Jake. It's lunch time."  
  
"Well you're making me late for lunch."  
  
"Come on, don't you think we should talk?"  
  
"We are talking. This right now, it's called talking. Now, I have to go." He headed toward the door, and continued to try and bust it open.  
  
"That's not gonna work. What's gonna work is if we at least civilize, for the sake of being roommates. We don't even have to be friends if you don't want to. I know I don't deserve your friendship. I mean I know I haven't treated you the way I should, you deserve more then that, but all I need is for you to have faith in me. I'm not some kind of jack ass all the time." These words sounded so familiar to me, like I've said them before. I couldn't get it right now, but I know I've said them.  
  
"How can I know that? Landon....you really pissed me off that day. I don't need that."  
  
"I know, I was just having this weird mood thing. I had this dream about Jamie and I was very lost, confused, which then lead to angry, and you were just there when it happened. It could have been anyone, I didn't mean to take it out on you."  
  
"That's the thing Landon, it could have been anyone. I can't deal with someone who could just do that to anyone. I'm sorry that your wife died, but that's something you have to deal with yourself. Don't cause shit with anyone else because you fuckin' lost something." I couldn't take what he was saying to me. I know he had a point, but I hated the realization that I was hurting people, because I couldn't let go of Jamie. I didn't want to do that anymore, but I didn't want to put Jamie in the past. I stared at him not knowing what to say. I turned around and headed toward the door.  
  
"Angelica, take the chair away from the knob. I gotta get out." I heard her remove the chair, then I quickly walked away.  
  
"Where are you going?" I didn't answer her. I felt so depleted. I was walking until I was about 10 miles away from campus. I had no idea where I was, so I just sat on the sidewalk. Suddenly a headlight flashed in my eyes and I looked up at the car. I stood up and stood next to the front seat window. It rolled down, and that's when I saw Belinda.  
  
"Heading somewhere?"  
  
"Yah.."  
  
"Where do you want me to take you?"  
  
"Anywhere. Anywhere but here."  
  
"Okay." I hopped in the car. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see Belinda in my whole entire life. We were driving for a couple of minutes quietly until she started conversation.  
  
"You're campus is about 8 miles away from where I found you. What were you doing there?"  
  
"To tell you the truth, I don't know. I didn't even know where I was. I just kept walking. Fate happened to bring me to you." She looked at me and gave me a small smile.  
  
"I'm glad. I really missed you Landon."  
  
"Belinda..you don't still have feelings for me right?"  
  
"Are you kidding me? I gave up on you when you got married!" She began to laugh softly, and I joined in with her. "Actually I've been dating someone here in California. I know I'm going back to Beaufort, but I still think we could get through that and end up together some day."  
  
"Well that's good. It's always nice to have someone in your life that you could love."  
  
"Yah..I guess it is. How are you holding up with the Jamie thing?"  
  
"I think I'm doing pretty well, considering that it's kind of affecting everyone else around me."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well one girl fell inlove with me. She told me that day I saw you at the coffee house. She saw me hugging you, and she kind of ran away. That's why I left so quickly. I'm sorry about that by the way."  
  
"Eh..No problem Landon.."  
  
"Well I told her that I couldn't love her back, because I'm obviously still inlove with Jamie."  
  
"Understandable. I mean, considering what great a person she was.."  
  
"Yah..She understood that..but then my roommate Jacob.."  
  
"Let me guess..He hates the fact that you can't let go of Jamie, because it secludes him from parts of your life that you don't think he can understand."  
  
"Wow, you're pretty good."  
  
"Well considering that I'm a friend that was there with you after she passed, I know how that feels. Still, I never had a problem with that. I mean, you were probably hurting way more than I was. If he can't understand that you're hurt, then he's not much of an open-minded friend. You should talk to him about that."  
  
"Believe me, I tried. He just ended up making me kind of confused which lead me here, right now, in a car with one of my old best friends. I have to admit, it's not that bad. Where are you taking me anyways?"  
  
"Home."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I was heading back to Beaufort when I caught you in the middle of the street. Plus, you said I could take you anywhere."  
  
"I guess I did, but when you said that you were going back to Beaufort, I didn't know it was today at this moment.."  
  
"Well..you didn't ask sooner! Don't worry. I'm sure Eric and everyone would be glad to see you."  
  
"Wow..I'm actually going back to Beaufort.."  
  
"Why? You haven't visited yet?"  
  
"Well once, to visit Jamie's grave. I didn't visit anyone else though."  
  
"Well then..I guess it's time for you to have another visit to our little town."  
  
"I guess so.." I smiled, and sat back. I was probably the happiest that day at that moment. 


End file.
